


The Melodic Tune Of A Vagabond and The One Who Decided To Love Him

by Mehhh



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Yamaguci is an artist vagabond, have funnnnnnnnnnnnn, so does the 'idiot brigade and an akaashi', tsukishima works at a diner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-03-28 22:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3871375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mehhh/pseuds/Mehhh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>home:<br/>hōm<br/>noun<br/>1.<br/>the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.<br/>"I was eighteen when I left home and went to travel"<br/>synonyms: residence, place of residence, house, apartment, flat, bungalow, cottage</p><p>home:<br/>what Kei found in Tadashi</p><p>home:<br/>a thing Tadashi does not have</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 2 At Night

Three Months

"Take me to the beach."

Tsukishima turns his head towards Yamaguchi, confused by the request. It was 2:30 at night, and it didn't seem like anybody would even be awake at the moment. They were lying in bed, naked with a thin sheet covering their touching legs. 

"Tadashi, it's too early. Why do you want to go to the beach?" Tsukishima turned towards Yamaguchi, resting a hand on the other's sheet clad hip. He scooted closer, the warmth that radiated off of Yamaguchi melting the ice in his fingertips. 

"Please Tsukki. Can we just go to the beach?" The look on Yamaguchi's face told Tsukishima that they should go. Maybe it was the haunted eyes, the sad smile, or the hand clutching the sheets, but he knew. 

"Yeah let's go." They got up, pulling on clothes that could've been the others. They moved through the dark apartment quietly, trying not to wake up anyone else in the apartment. Once the apartment door was closed, they rushed down the hall, voices hushed in giddy whispers and laughter. They run down staircase after staircase, out of breathe from running down ten flights of stairs once they reached the ground floor. Tsukishima felt a tug on his hand, and looked up to see Yamaguchi, pants coming out from half open lips, the red glow of the exit sign on his face and reflected on eyes open in excitement. 

Tsukishima laughed and followed behind the freckled boy, mind wrapped in the amazing bundle of wonder that he was able to claim as his own. They exited the building, Yamaguchi bursting through the doors filled with so much life and energy, Tsukishima didn't understand how anyone could be so ethereal. He followed behind Yamaguchi's running figure, the cold, ocean breeze making goosebumps on his arms. The apartment wasn't too far from the beach, but there was a long line of stairs to run down, a flight that knocked the wind out of everyone. Yamaguchi didn't slow down at all as he ran down the steps, looking as if he was flying. When his feet landed back on the street, he didn't even wait for Tsukishima, his feet taking him straight to the sand that was only a block away. 

By the time Tsukishima made it to the beach, Yamaguchi was already doing what he did every day. He stood with his back to the world, instead focusing only on the vast unknown he had always desperately wanted to be a part of. 

Ever since Yamaguchi found the little beach city Tsukishima called home, he would spend hours staring out at the ocean, mystified with what he could not see. Tsukishima walked closer, resting his hand on Yamaguchi's shoulder when he was next to him. 

"It's beautiful, isn't it Tsukki?" He asked, eyes locked on the dark expanse that seemed to surround him. Tsukishima looked around the beach, not a soul in sight. The wind was stronger here, the taste of saltwater thick in the air as the high tide played with Tsukishima's toes. 

"With you here, yes indeed." Yamaguchi laughed and backed away from the tide that was coming in higher and higher. Tsukishima stood and watched the small dance, laughing along with the quiet, musical giggles Yamaguchi gave. When he was what he deemed far enough from the water, he plopped down, waving Tsukishima over. Tsukishima shook his head with a laugh and sat down next to him, still unable to deny the boy after three months together. 

They held hands, Tsukishima's eyes on the stars above them while Yamaguchi's were focused on the ocean ahead of them. A thread seemed to be the only thing holding the world together for them at the moment. He was unsure of where on that thread he was in life, or even with Yamaguchi, but the warmth that was spreading from his hand upwards told him that they were fine, at least for now. 

They both toed off their shoes, letting their feet fall on top of each other. They felt comfortable, as if the world could fall around them and all would still be fine if they just kept their hands together. Yamaguchi leaned against Tsukishima, tucking his head into his shoulder. Tsukishima could feel Yamaguchi breathing, a reminder that this amazing person wasn't just in his head, that he was real. 

"Tsukki." He said, voice airy and soft, mind obviously deep in thought. 

"Yes?" 

"Tell me about yourself." Tsukishima took in a deep breath, unsure where to start. He wouldn't deny Yamaguchi this, but he couldn't deny Yamaguchi anything anyway. 

"There really isn't much about me. I haven't done anything interesting like you have."

"What I've done isn't that interesting. But that doesn't matter. Please just tell me. " 

Tsukishima sighed and nodded. He started to talk, his words melding into the sound of the waves hitting the beach. The stars above illuminated his story, Yamaguchi listening to every word. It really wasn't a fairy tale or anything of the like. No, he had a simple story to tell, one of a mother and father who loved with all they could, a protective older brother who loved him just as much. He never had too many friends growing up, his attitude tended to turn people away, but in middle school he joined the volleyball team, and while he wouldn't call any of those teammates close friends, he had gotten along fine with them. His good grades got him into a good college in this very town, which he's currently in his third year for computer science. He had even joined the volleyball team, where he had met what he calls 'the idiot brigade and an Akaashi’ that he currently hangs out with. His life wasn't anything special at all, just a normal one. His attitude is just who he is, not a product of a terrible childhood like people normally think. He was just Tsukishima Kei, a twenty year who was still figuring out who he was but not worrying about the trip there. 

"And that's all I can really say about myself really. Nothing interesting." He turned to look at Yamaguchi, who looked like he just saw the stars in Tsukishima's face. Tsukishima laughed and kissed his cheek, Yamaguchi blushing instantly and rubbing against Tsukishima’s shoulder. “You look stupid doing that.” 

“Don’t be rude, Tsukki.” He sighed and looked towards the ocean again, eyes blowing wide with the exhilaration he gets from the vastness. Tsukishima looks down at Yamaguchi, and he’s sure he looks like a love struck idiot. 

“What about you? What’s your story?” Tsukishima knew so much about Yamaguchi. How he sings songs in other languages in the shower, or how he brushes his teeth for exactly 3 and a half minutes, never more or less. He likes to tap his fingers to some unrecognizable song when he is thinking, and his favorite color is the color of the sun rising when mist hangs heavy in the air. He’s afraid of clowns and small red circles. When he can, he fills up half of a sketch book then moves onto another one, then goes back to the first one after. Yamaguchi was made up of all those small details, he was a product of all those intricacies. But Tsukishima didn’t know where those small details ever came from. He wanted to know what he did when he was home sick from school, what classes did he find hard, what was his favorite cartoon, just everything and anything he could to complete the story of Yamaguchi Tadashi. 

“Oh Tsukki, you don’t want to hear that. It’s just a dull, long story. Nothing you’d want to hear.” Yamaguchi waved a hand in that wish washy way, but Tsukishima grabbed ahold of it, holding it close to his chest. He hoped that Yamaguchi could feel his heart beat. It was beating faster than normal, but it was beating for Yamaguchi. 

“I don’t think anything about you could be dull, Tadashi.” Yamaguchi gave him a small, sad smile but nodded. It was then that the colors of Yamaguchi’s life, it’s past, present, and future, exploded in Tsukishima’s eyes. 

Everything Yamaguchi said seemed so sad, but it seemed to connect everything Tsukishima knew about Yamaguchi. His story started while he was a young child of four, a dad who one day never came home, a mom that seemed way to uninterested in her son’s life. A year later, he was five in a brand new hat, another day at school, he comes home to find his mom with news of a little brother to come. But Yamaguchi could feel nothing but sadness for the boy and himself. The days of such a life turned to months the months turning to years. His little brother seemed to see more love from his mother, her new husband by her side as she ran for mayor of the small town they lived in. But Yamaguchi stood in the corner, only filling his mind with painting and drawing, replacing his harsh reality instead with a world of watercolor and acrylics, markers and sketch paper. And life went on for Yamaguchi. He lived his life, moving on from middle school to high school, never making close friends, always keeping a barrier he set up with a day dreamer’s attitude and a fence of paint brushes. The moment he turned 18 he left home with whatever money he saved up from his job as a delivery boy and a duffel bag of clothing, toiletries, maps, and more art supplies than needed. He traveled to place to place till he finally ended up here, Tsukishima’s pleasant city by the ocean.

After Yamaguchi shared his story, they stayed silent. With their views out towards the distance indefinite, they sat without a word, without a whisper. They didn’t need to speak because they knew the electricity that was flowing through the ocean breeze spoke for the both of them. It was so cold, too cold for any normal person. The lights that shined from the street lamps bathed the beaches, the sidewalk empty for miles. Tsukishima stood up, brushing the sand off of the shorts that were so short, they were probably Yamaguchi’s. Yamaguchi stood up after him, stretching his arms out to the star laden sky.

“Well, it’s official four in the morning.” Tsukishima said with a yawn, shoving his phone back into his pocket after he decided to check for the time. He picked up his shoes and nodded his head towards Yamaguchi, turning back towards the street. “Let’s go home.”

Tsukishima made his way towards the beach entrance, his toes sinking into the sand that held him up. His shoulders felt light, his wings letting him soar. What he did not notice, perhaps for the best of him, was Yamaguchi standing in the same spot, eyes stuck on the ground instead of looking out to his wonderful unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this story is nonlinear. the rest of the chapters happen at different points of it as well. it's along the lines of 500 Days of Summer but different. anyways, i wanted to write vagabond Yamaguchi who lives for himself. i expect this to be an emotional roller coaster so good luck everybody. thank you so much for reading. thanks again -morgan


	2. A Chance Meeting At An Old Diner

0 Months

Hate is a very strong word. It brings up emotions and images of burning your ex's things as you watch on laughing like a maniac. Many people dislike using the word hate. Tsukishima is not one of those people. 

He is currently hating every single thing he can think of as he walks to work. Work is also on the list. As well as his coworkers, his roommates, the shitty apartment he lives in, the shitty college courses he takes, his shitty glasses for fogging up because he's sweating that damn much. Every single thing is making it on his hate list right now, and he didn't care one bit. Even that little, old lady was on the list. Especially that little, old lady. 

 

He groaned inwardly when he finally saw the sign on the small, run down dinner he worked at. It wasn't that bad of a job. Kind of. If you don't take in the annoying coworkers, the rude customers, the multiple annoying sexual remarks about his ‘mile long’ legs (half of them from his coworkers), and the fact he always left smelling like grease, it was a pretty comfy job. Also the large amount of times he’s walked in on people having sex in the backroom. The owners were extremely nice to everyone so the hours were good, and the pay was enough to help pay rent, get food, and covering his needs and a few wants. 

 

The bell chimed as he pushed through the large glass doors. The diner had the whole retro atmosphere to it. The red stools at the bar, fancy chrome everywhere, booths that looked worse for wear, and a juke box that had all the original songs on it. It was empty right now, most people didn't care to come in at 11 am on a Wednesday. 

"Well Daichi left me in charge so you have to listen to what I say,” was the first thing he heard. He turned his gaze towards the idiot that said it. Kuroo Tetsurou, an annoying asshole that had deal with here at work, and at his shitty apartment. Why he ever agreed to be roommates with the man, he did not know. Maybe he was distracted but that mess that Kuroo called his hair.

He was facing down Bokuto Koutarou (an even more annoying coworker with the mental age of a five year old) while Akaashi Keiji (one of the few people he could actually stand in this place) was watching both of them from the sidelines. Bokuto was pouting, leaning in towards Kuroo with defiance in his eyes.

"Hey hey heeyyy. Why would they even leave someone like you in charge? I should be in charge." He poked Kuroo in the chest, pushing him backwards.

"You're like, five."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Why don't you both shut the fuck up before the customers come? You'll scare them off with how stupid you two are. They'll think the place is infected with something." Tsukishima said as he crossed his arms, glaring at them. His three coworkers looked over at him, Akaashi even had a small, barely there smirk on his face. 

"And what about you Tsukishima? You're a bit late, aren't you?" Kuroo asked, leaning towards him with that cat like grin of his. 

"You're right about that Kuroo. I think he needs to get another warnnnninggg." Bokuto smirked at Tsukishima. 

"I was busy fixing the sink, because someone didn't fix it like I asked them to this morning." He said, gaze fixed on Kuroo. Kuroo only raised his hands in defeat, trying to feign innocence. Tsukishima only rolled his eyes and pushes past him, heading to the swinging door that leads to the kitchen so he could get an apron. Well. He was going to do that, until he noticed someone at the counter, someone who was watching all along. 

"And who exactly are you?" They were okay looking, brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and a dusting of freckles scattered across their cheeks. They had a shocked looked on their face, one that clearly indicated they did not expect Tsukishima to pay attention to them. 

"I-I'm Yamaguchi Tadashi." He blushed and looked down at the plate in front of him, a half-eaten burger and some fries that looked like they were getting soggy still left. 

"We found him watching us play beach volleyball and decided to take him home." Bokuto said, slinging an arm around a distressed looking Yamaguchi. 

"Well, okay then. I'm Tsukishima Kei. Don't bother me." He said before heading into the kitchen. He wasn't sure why, but something about that boy bothered him. And he didn't want to find out what. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously, fuck the dinner rush. Really who wants fucking pancakes at 9 a clock at night when the menu clearly says they stop serving breakfast at 11 in the morning? This isn’t an I Hop. And why does this group have so many snot nosed brats that all want chicken fingers? Why did that lady come in sick and decided to sneeze all over the menu? Tsukishima didn't know what the fuck was wrong with some people, but he was adding more and more people on his hate list. 

When the last few customers finally made their way out the door, Tsukishima held himself from cheering for joy. His feet were aching, and he couldn't touch his eyes because one kid split hot sauce all over the table, which he had to clean up. He was just glad he could finally go home and ignore every single thing in the world. Every single thing. He sighed and leaned on the counter, ready to fall asleep. He cracked an eye open slowly, and almost fell backwards when that average looking guy from this morning was still sitting on the same barstool.

“What are you still doing here?” He asked Yamaguchi. He had a book in front of him now, a pencil in his hand and he was staring at Tsukishima like he just got caught pushing a vase off the shelf. 

“I don’t really have anywhere to go right now.” Yamaguchi blushed and closed his book. Tsukishima wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure he saw some drawings as the pages flipped closed. 

“You don’t know anyone in this city, do you?” 

Yamaguchi stuttered a few times, eyes shifting everywhere but Tsukishima’s face. “I guess. I’ve never been here before.” He shrugged his shoulders and settled his eyes on the closed book in front of him. 

“Well, good luck kid.” Tsukishima said as he nodded to Yamaguchi. He turned to walk into the kitchen, ignoring the squabbling Hinata and Kageyama that were currently fighting about who had to wash the dishes. He dodged a flying plate, adding that to their damage toll, and headed to the back room. The back room was small, but cozy. Sugawara, one of his bosses, always made sure that the diner was comfy for everyone to work at. He was the mother figure at the diner, not that Tsukishima would ever admit that. And that one time he called Suga mom was deleted from the books, it never fucking happened. 

He sat down at the big fluffy couch that was a place of many work time naps. Tsukishima took in a deep breath, the smell of lemon air freshener and cleaning product overwhelming his senses. That smell only means one thing, and that one thing was the reason Tsukishima scrambled to get off the couch. Someone had sex back here recently. He knew Akaashi and Bokuto were gone for way too long. Gross.

He dusted his clothes off as he got up, somewhat trying to get the smell of grease off of himself. He pulled off his apron, and stashed it away. Shutting the door to the closet, the mirror on the front of the door glared at him. He cringed at his reflection. Three hours of sleep did nothing to help his already sickly, pale skin. And he’d need three hands to count the number of bags under his eyes. He turned away, shivering at the horrid thing he saw in the mirror. He hated many things, but his reflection was way too high on the list. He ignored the those self-deprecating feelings that normally floated through his head, and walked out of the back room, avoiding a mug being thrown this time. Those two idiots would never be able to leave the diner at the rate they were breaking stuff at.

He entered the dining room, the little freckled guy still sitting at the counter, but this time Kuroo had an arm slung around him. Yamaguchi was blushing and shaking his head, looking uncomfortable with Kuroo’s facial feature. 

“Of course you can stay at my place. Better than Akaashi and Bokuto’s. All you’d hear is moaning and some hooting.”

“I STOPPED HOOTING DURING SEX A LONG TIME AGO.” Bokuto jumped up, protesting to what Kuroo had said. Last time Tsukishima heard the two of them in the backroom, he heard about five hoots in the five seconds he was there before absconding the fuck out. 

“What do you mean he can stay at OUR place?” Tsukishima said, standing before the two of them scowling. Kuroo gave him a sly, cat-like grin, that look that he gave when he knew he was pissing Tsukishima off but he didn’t care. Damn brat. Yamaguchi just looked between the two of them in fear, afraid to say anything with his eyes wide in shock.

“Oh come on Tsukki. He has no other place to stay.” Yamaguchi shook his head rapidly, trying to shrink back from Kuroo’s grasp. 

“There’s a thing called fucking asking your roommate.” Tsukishima growled out, stepping towards Kuroo. 

“Guys please stop fighting. I can find someplace else to stay.” Tadashi said, trying to push himself between the two. Stating that he was more of an average height compared to the two green giants, it wasn’t really working.

 

“Oh yeah? And where will you sleep? You don’t even have enough money for a five dollar burger.” Kuroo waved his arm around, Yamaguchi ducking under to avoid being hit. 

“I can sleep at the train station, or the beach. I’ve spent nights at beaches before.” 

“Hell no, you’re staying at my place. You can get mugged or something. Kidnapped. Your organs can be harvested for the black market.” 

“Just everyone shut up already. He can fucking stay at our place, its fine!” Tsukishima groaned and walked away from them, heading for the door. He ignored Kuroo’s cheers, instead focusing on getting the fuck out of this place. Where was sedatives for cats when you needed them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhaa stillll haven't finished a chapter for bfts. hahah i also took apush today and i nearly took mints so i would go into anaphylactic shock and no one would have to take the test. but anyway here is the next chapter, their first meeting. wish me luck for ap language next wednesday. hopefully my friends will stop me from taking mint again. -morgan


	3. The Fresh Pain Of An Ending

Three Months, Two Weeks

Tsukishima stared at the wall. The blank, white wall in his room with that one crack running through it. This pain was way too intense, way too potent in his heart for him to want to continue even breathing through it. His legs felt numb, and he knew that he would wobble like a new born giraffe when he got out of bed. He had barely gotten up in the last week, other than to go to the bathroom and when his stomach protested with its loud growls, his throat feeling so dry that he couldn’t breathe. 

He really said he had no home. Was Tsukishima not good enough? Was the home he tried to give to Yamaguchi not enough? He couldn’t wrap his mind around the idea of why, why did Yamaguchi leave him? 

He heard a knocking on his door, the third time today, probably the five hundredth this week. Everyone has tried to get him out of his room at some point or another, everyone giving up after spending hours trying to tell the blond that he was going to be okay and that they were there for him. Tsukishima honestly felt bad, they all cared about him enough to try and get him out of his room. But his bones felt too heavy, his heart binding him to the bed underneath him. 

The knocking today was loud, more rapid than normal, with the occasional 'Stop knocking so hard, dumbass' so it was Hinata's and Kageyama's turn to try and get him out of his room today. He pulled the blankets over his head and tried to block out the loud noise produced from the two idiots at his door. He didn’t have any energy at all to deal with the bouncing ball of overpowering sunshine and the gloomy shadow that liked to follow him. It was easier to sit in bed and let his own self-pity take its roots in him. There was no point in even getting up for Tsukishima.

“Tsukishima, you’re going to have to leave your room for more than two minutes at some point.” He could hear Hinata say from behind the door. And no he won’t. He had brought a stock pile of junk food in his room yesterday. And he was sure that no one would care if he peed out the window, though he didn’t think he was desperate enough to do something as idiotic as that. Yet.

“Yo blond asshole, open the door or we’re going to break the door open.” Kageyama slammed a hand against the door, pissed off now. Tsukishima curled tighter into himself, trying to forget the world around him. He should be worried about his door, the two of them would probably actually beak it down. But his eyes were closing quickly, his heartbeat slowing in its pain. The insomnia of his last few sleepless nights was catching up on him fast. He knew he wasn’t going to be awake for much longer. He drifted off to the sound of bickering voices and his door being shook rapidly, his chest still feeling hollow.

His dreams weren’t much better than his thoughts when he was awake. He hated every single step he took on the soft sand that was underneath him. Why the floor in the dinner was sand, he had no clue. Everyone looked so happy, it was strange. They were all too happy. Even Kageyama had that so called smile of his on, that one that looked like he was coming to kill you. When he moved throughout the dinner, all of their eyes followed him, that crawling feeling of stares making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Tanaka and Nishinoya stood in the way of the doors, these two the only ones not smiling. Instead they were whispering to each other, voices distorted and static in the loud, roaring winds that started to pick up all around him. They side eyed him several times, looks of disgust on both of their faces, normally looks reserved for people that stared at Kiyoko for too long, and he knew they were talking about him. 

He felt self-conscious under all of the stares, he needed to find a way out. He could feel his heart beat pick up, near unnatural in intensity. His head turned to look around the room, no other exits in the room expect the one being guarded in front of him. He was scared as the wind only got louder and louder, everything starting to blur. He closed his eyes, the feeling of the room closing around him growing immensely. He was afraid to open his eyes again, worried some triangle demon may show up, or everyone would suddenly be bleeding from empty eye sockets if he did. A shove forward shocked him into open his eyes, catching himself as the bright light overwhelmed him. Once his eyes adjusted, he realized that the dinner was gone. Instead he stood on a beach, the sun dimming overhead, the wind barely a breeze anymore. The ocean that seemed to stretch out for miles in front of him wasn’t water. It was fog, all just gray fog so dense that he couldn’t see through. The fog seemed to escape up from the ocean, slowly taking over his surroundings. He looked behind him, expecting to see the street, only greeted by miles of sand. He turned back towards the ocean of fog, a lone figure catching his eye.

“Tadashi.” He called out when he realized it was the freckled boy that stood in the distance. Yamaguchi turned back to him and smiled, that sad smile that never really reached his eyes, the one that showed his was aching for something he couldn’t find. Yamaguchi raised his hand in a small wave to Tsukishima but didn’t do anything else. Tsukishima took off running towards him right away, trying to close the distance between them. But the miles of sand only stretched further and further. He could feel his chance of getting to Yamaguchi slipping away with each footstep he took. Yamaguchi had his back to him now, and the wind had once again started to howl all around Tsukishima, pressing him back with its sheer volume. 

“Home.” It was barely even a whisper but he can still hear it escape Yamaguchi’s lips. Tsukishima looked up, eyes broken in desperation to reach the brunette that was taking steps towards the ocean of fog. The whispers of home continues as Yamaguchi takes more steps towards the ocean. Tsukishima shouldn’t even be able to hear him over the sound of the wind, but he does. And every whisper of ‘Home’ he hears makes that stab in his heart go deeper, his pace go faster until he is sprinting across the never ending stretch of land that is keeping him and Yamaguchi apart. Just when Tsukishima thinks he can finally get his grip on Yamaguchi, when he’s only a few steps away, Yamaguchi dives into the fog, the last whisper of home leaving his lips like a prayer. His final breath.

“Tadashi!” Tsukishima yells out his name, sinking to his knees in front of the ocean’s edge. He couldn’t see Yamaguchi at all. He’s lost him. 

He has really lost him.

Tsukishima woke up panting, trying desperately to find some air to breathe. His shoulders shook with regret, his arms wrapping around himself. Hinata and Kageyama sat on the end of the bed, both alert when they heard Tsukishima get up so suddenly. 

“Tsukishima? Are you alright?” Hinata asked, voice slow and steady, arms reaching out towards him. It was almost as if he was reaching out towards a scared kitten in the rain. Tsukishima stared at the two of them, eyes watering. He could feel the beginnings of a migraine start and spots speckled in front of his eyes. 

“No.” He croaked out before falling into Hinata’s outstretched arms, shaking with tears and sobbing. He knew the sounds that were coming out of him were disgusting, and the other two were probably starting to feel awkward, but he didn’t care.

He had lost one of the only people that had ever really mattered to him and he had the right to break down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey look who still has ideas for this story. this one might actually wrap up quicker then bfts, which i have finally started writing the next chapter of. anyways im tired, it is 12 in the morning where i am and im regretting things oh many things. thanks for reading. -morgan


	4. Maybe This Was When Love Began

Three Weeks, Two Days

Tsukishima leaned his forehead against his apartment door, taking a deep breathe. He raised his hand and slammed his palm against the door. Again. He's been standing here, knocking on the door for the last half hour. His alarm clock did not go off this morning, thanks to a sly cat that thought it would be funny to put his fucking alarm clock in the fridge, which made him have to rush to get to class on time. The stupid morning rush made him forget to take his keys as he tripped out the door pulling on his shoes. 

And now he was here, trying to get into his own damn apartment. Kuroo was in lectures and Kenma was at the library working on his dissertation for chemical engineering, with his phone turned off as normal. With no way to connect with either of them, he’s stuck locked out of his shitty apartment. And his hand was starting to throb, goddamn. 

Just as he was about to bang the door one more time, it swung open. Only of course he was still resting his head on it, so the door opening caused him to tumble forward onto whoever had opened the door. 

“Fuck.” He muttered under his breathe. He pushed himself on his hands and knees and held himself up over the person he had fallen upon, shaking away the dizziness from the fall. When he opened his eyes to Yamaguchi underneath him. Yamaguchi's cheeks were bright red, blush reaching the tips of his ears. His eyes were opened in shock as Tsukishima stared down at him. 

"Thanks for finally opening the door after I spent a half an hour knocking." Tsukishima said, feeling awkward in their position and their proximity. He pushed himself up quickly, brushing himself off as he moved passed Yamaguchi who was slower to rise. 

"Uh, sorry Tsukki. I was in the shower." Yamaguchi got up and closed the front door. Tsukishima noticed that his hair was still wet. 

“It takes you half an hour to shower?”

“Well… I like long showers?” 

"Whatever." Tsukishima walked into the kitchen, Yamaguchi following behind from a distance. "Is there anything too eat?" 

“Uhhhhhh.” Tsukishima opened the fridge to complete emptiness. “No.” Yamaguchi said pointing to the fridge. 

Of course no one bothered to restock on food, of fucking course. He groaned and slammed the fridge closed, turning towards Yamaguchi. “I’m ordering take out. Otherwise we’ll starve.” He stalked to the drawer filled with their take out menus, shuffling through them to find a good place to eat. “Is there anything you’re in the mood for?” 

“Whatever you want, Tsukki. I am just your guest.” Tsukishima turned towards Yamaguchi, an eyebrow raised in question.

“You’ve been sleeping on our couch for a month now. I think you’re more than a guest.” It was true, the couch had now become Yamaguchi’s permeant bed. Pillows and a blanket was strewn across it, and no one but Yamaguchi even sat on it anymore. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just really hard to find a place to stay when you’re on your own. It’s also sort of nice to not sleep on the beach for once.” Yamaguchi ran a hand through his hair, looking over at the couch. Tsukishima didn’t know how to respond. What was he supposed to say to someone who admitted to basically being homeless? He shuffled through the take out menus again until he found one that he liked.

“Are you okay with this place for take out?” He handed the menu over to Yamaguchi to look over. Yamaguchi opened the menu, seemingly so serious in choosing what he wanted. His eyes squinted at the page, his lips pulled into a small pout. Tsukishima could barely admit to himself that, yeah it was sorta adorable. It wasn’t until he refocused his attention on Yamaguchi again did he realize that the brunette had something to him. Just another reason to be embarrassed around the guy. “Uh, sorry, I tuned out for a second. Can you say that again?” 

“The second combo meal. That’s what I want.” Tsukishima nodded and picked up the house phone. He wasn’t sure why he was always so awkward with Yamaguchi. Kuroo and Kenma both talked to Yamaguchi normally, it was like they’ve known each other all their lives. But whenever Tsukishima ever tried to talk to Yamaguchi for longer than five minutes, he ended up saying something that was really dickish, even to him. 

He order the food quickly, making sure to include a meal for Kenma. Kuroo could get the leftovers for putting his alarm clock in the fridge. Really, who the fuck puts an alarm clock in a fridge? 

When he walked into the living room again, Yamaguchi was rustling his sketchbooks in the corner. At some point of his stay, Yamaguchi claimed one corner just for his sketchbooks. He filled them up so quickly that the stack was up to his knees at this point. Yamaguchi was kneeling before them, flipping through the pages of one before looking through another. 

"What do you plan to do with those anyway?" Yamaguchi jumped in surprised, eyes wide as he looked at Tsukishima. He closed the book in his hands and placed it on the stack before standing and turning to Tsukishima. 

"Well, I normally send them to this storage place back in the town I grew up in. My old friend owns a storage locker there and they keep my sketchbooks there." Tsukishima nodded and sat on the floor in front of the couch, not wanting to disrupt Yamaguchi's bedding. Yamaguchi plopped down next to him, the atmosphere quiet and just a bit too awkward. 

"So." Tsukishima said abruptly, trying to pull something out of his ass to say. His mind only came out blank. Maybe he could start telling interesting facts about sharks? Maybe that could work.

"Tsukki." He turned his head towards Tsukishima, a bright smile on his face that nearly made his heart stop. "Would you like to watch a movie?" 

"Uhhhh...” Goddammit why would anyone want to hear stupid facts about sharks Tsukishima? Stupid, dinosaurs are always more interesting. 

"I'll take that as a yes." Yamaguchi patted his shoulder and crawled towards the TV. Tsukishima blushed and turned his eyes away, trying to ignore Yamaguchi's ass pretty much waving in front of his face. The doorbell rang before Tsukishima could say anything and Yamaguchi waved him towards the door. Tsukishima swallowed the lump that was starting to grow in his throat and went to the door. He paid the clearly stoned delivery boy and took their order out of the idiot’s hands before he dropped it, closing the door after him. 

"I found this movie at the store the other day. It's supposed to be the worst horror movie in existence. I couldn't wait to watch it. Turn off the lights while you're up." Yamaguchi said as he opened a DVD case on the stand and put it in the player. 

"Why are we watching it if it's going to be so bad?" He flipped the light switch off then sat down in front of the couch again, pulling out their individual orders and the utensils that came with them. He wrapped the bag around Kenma’s order and placed it on the coffee table. 

"Don't you just love making fun of bad movies?" Yamaguchi smiled again as he crawled back to sit next to Tsukishima. He curled up close to him, pulling a blanket off of the couch above and letting it drape around their shoulders. "Now shush up and pay attention. And give me my food." 

Tsukishima handed him the carton, which he greedily took with hungry hands. Tsukishima didn't say a word, forgetting he was supposed to pay attention to the screen, in exchange for watching Yamaguchi stuff his face full of food. It was actually really cute. 

Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been raining on and off here, it's so nice. i just came back from vacation and it is so nice to be home now. especially since im going to be leaving for chicago in june, for a very annoying conference for a very annoying club.  
> i hope you all are doing okay though, be ready for the summer guys. thanks again for reading, and while i dont feel like this is the best, i still hope you enjoy it. -morgan


	5. The Unsteadiness Before a First Date

One Month, One Day

Mirrors were the bane of Tsukishima's existence. They made his skin crawl when he looked at them. They were too open, showed off too many of his flaws. He's always had a love hate relationship with the one in his room. 

Right now it was telling him that the skinny jeans that he was wearing made his legs look too skinny, and that he looked nervous as fuck. 

He had every right to be nervous, he hasn't been on a date in over a year and this very night he was going to go on one with Yamaguchi. The thought itself made him nervous, let alone going through the act of it. 

One night stands he was okay with. Going on a thing that entails talking to someone about personal matters that could possible change the rest of his life for good, he was not really that okay with. But he couldn't get out of this and Kenma threatened to dye his hair pink if he had to 'deal with your guy's horny, creepy tension when I'm playing video games.' 

A knock on his door broke him out of his worrisome reverie, shaking his head to get rid of the image of Kenma stepping towards him with a bottle of permanent pink hair dye. The small 'Tsukki' made him freeze up before he realized he should answer the door. 

Yamaguchi stood outside the door, wearing one of his normal pairs of ratty jeans and the special plaid shirt that he kept for special occasions. He's already seen Yamaguchi dressed in this very outfit several times, but Yamaguchi always made it look better every time. 

"Hello Tsukki. Ready to go?" He smiled at Tsukishima, that smile that made his whole face brighten. It felt brighter than a star to look at and Tsukishima never knew what to do when confronted with that smile. Tsukishima nodded, unable to say anything else. Yamaguchi laughed, a laugh nowhere near the sound of bells but still just as beautiful, and took his hand, leading him out of the empty apartment. 

"Did you have any place in mind to go tonight?" Tsukishima asked, as if he wasn't the one who spent a good portion of his life here. 

"Just follow me, Tsukki. I have everything planned out for tonight." Tsukishima blushed, amazed by Yamaguchi as normal. Yamaguchi led Tsukishima out of the building, pulling him to the bus stop that was outside of the building. 

They sat in the silence, allowing the air to communicate for them. Tsukishima's hand felt so warm in Yamaguchi's, a warmth he didn't think could be replicated by anyone else. The bus pulled up in front of the stop, Yamaguchi pulling Tsukishima up as the door flew open with an electronic whir. They sat in the back, alone in their little bubble of first date jitters. 

"So where exactly are you bringing me?" Tsukishima asked him, squeezing his hand a little tighter. 

"Well I can't exactly tell you, Tsukki. That will take the surprise out of it." 

"And if I said I don't like surprises?" 

"Well then too bad, you will have to like mine." Tsukishima looked down at Yamaguchi smirking. He really was adorable. A cute combination of shy sass that somehow managed to sweep Tsukishima's heart into his pocket. 

"And if I don't like it? What would you do to make it up to me?"

"That will be a surprise too." Tsukishima laughed, listening to the sweet sounds that left Yamaguchi's mouth as well. He wasn't sure why it was just so comfortable sitting here with someone he had only met a month ago. He just knew it all felt so right, the type of right he hasn’t felt in forever. Yamaguchi settled staring out the window, content with his hand in Tsukishima’s, while Tsukishima himself couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.

It was a few more stops before Yamaguchi perked up, pulling Tsukishima to his feet. Yamaguchi jumped off the bus, Tsukishima going right behind him. The bus zoomed past behind them as Tsukishima took in their surroundings. They were on a dark street and absolutely no one was around. 

"This isn't the part where you say you're a serial killer who kills tall blonds, right?" Tsukishima turned to Yamaguchi, only a little nervous. He already went on that one date long ago and that was part of the reason he stopped dating. 

"What the..? No, nothing like that. It's just this little place, a block away. Just follow me, okay? I promise you’ll like it." Yamaguchi didn't wait for an answer, instead walking ahead with determination in his step. Tsukishima followed again, quickly gaining up to Yamaguchi. There was something about Yamaguchi that left Tsukishima feeling breathless half the time. It was just the air around Yamaguchi, the natural sparks that seemed to surround him. He was sort of a puzzle to Tsukishima, one that he wanted to figure out how to put together again. 

“Here we are, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi stopped in front of a metal door, nothing else surrounding it. He smiled up at Tsukishima before opening the door and waving Tsukishima forward. Tsukishima took the first step very cautiously, nervous about the set of stairs that seemed to go nowhere. Yamaguchi nudged him again, so he pushed aside his normal trust issues and took the plunge, walking down the stairs. Yamaguchi followed after him, closing the door. Instead of the lights going out as Tsukishima presumed, black lights lite up overhead, shouldering the staircase in a blue glow. Tsukishima turned back towards Yamaguchi, question on his face, but Yamaguchi only pointed forward, the same mysterious smile on his face. 

Tsukishima sighed and kept walking down the stairs. At the end, instead of a normal door, there was a beaded curtain. Walking through, he entered into a large room. It was dimly lit, the walls decortred in a nick nacky decor, and seemed to be nicely packed, not too many people nor too few. A podium was in front of the entrance, a short girl with blonde hair standing behind it. She wasn’t paying attention to the curtain, her head leaning in very close to something on the podium, a pencil moving furiously in her hand. 

“Uhh..” Tsukishima started, but Yamaguchi only waved his hand at him nonchalantly, approaching the podium himself. He knocked his fist lightly against it, spooking the blonde girl. Tsukishima expected her to be angry at him, but instead, her face lit up with glee.

“Yamaguchi, you came!” She came out from behind the podium, hugging him tightly in her small arms. 

“You told me this place had amazing food, so I had to come. Why wouldn’t I?” Yamaguchi responded with a laugh. After that they launched into quick, rapid fire conversation that Tsukishima couldn’t make sense of for the life of him. He stood to the side, feeling awkward as they talked so openly with each other. Everyone really could talk to Yamaguchi as if they were lifelong friends but him, huh? Yamaguchi seemed to notice Tsukishima’s discomfort, pausing the conversation to introduce the two of them.

“Yachi, this is Tsukishima. Tsukki, this is my friend Yachi. I met her at the local art store.” 

“Ohhhh, so you’re the Tsukishima Yamaguchi constantly talks about. You are really tall, oh my.” She looked Tsukishima up and down before winking at Yamaguchi and nodding. “But I’m guessing you guys aren’t here to talk to me tonight. Let me sit you at a table.” She picked up some menus from the podium and led them through the (what Tsukishima guessed) restaurant. She nodded to people, and even Yamaguchi said hi to the occasional person, while Tsukishima didn’t recognize anyone there. Tsukishima has lived here for four years, yet Yamaguchi already knew more people than he did in a month’s worth of time. Did that say a lot about him? Probably. They were seated at a booth near the back corner of the place, menus placed in front of them before Yachi waved bye. A small lantern hung overhead, the section of the wall they were near dedicated to photos and objects of famous drag queens. People swarmed around the restaurant, stopping at one table or another, or dancing at the small dance floor in the middle of the room. The atmosphere felt perfect relaxed, a mix of chic and chill that Tsukishima never really did get.

“So, how are you feeling Tsukishima?” Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima, leaning his chin in his hands. His easy going smile made Tsukishima stutter again before he could think of an appropriate response.

“It’s okay. The food smells nice.” Tsukishima blushed at his response, silently cursing himself for sounding like an asshole again. “I never even knew this place existed.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t either until Yachi told me. I was getting some pencils yesterday and asked her for a good place for a date. She told me about this place she worked at some nights. I thought it would be cool to take you.” Yamaguchi shrugged, opening the large menu in front of him now. 

“It’s so underground though, how do people even find this place?” Tsukishima asked, opening the menu for himself, noticing the muted colors it was printed in. The food was a mix of different cultures, but all of it sounded so good and it made Tsukishima hungry.

“Yeah, that’s the name of this place. ‘The Undergound.’ Ironic, right? And people normally find about this place from other people, you know? One person goes, they tell someone else who tells someone else who tells someone else. The owner of this place, Oikawa, worked it all into his marketing gimmick to keep this place all under wraps and ‘hip’. And the chef, Iwaizumi, is supposed to be one of the best in the country. He’s been featured in a bunch of magazines but he never says which restaurant he actually works at.” Yamaguchi rattled this information off as if it was only natural, ending it with yet another beautiful smile directly only towards Tsukishima. 

“Well. I’m surprised you found an actually cool place.”

“Oh Tsukki, I’m filled with surprises.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this story actually has a set number of chapters, and guess what? its almost done! i finally ended school, with a trig regents friday that im not worried about. but anyways here is the new chapter and i hope you all like it. i must say i've fallen in love with the music thats inspired this story, specifically the great band, Misterwives, and the beautiful Ryn Weaver. listen to them, they're greatttt. anyways thank you for reading this new crazy chapter and as quoted by my apush teacher, have a great summer, ya cretins -morgan


	6. That Smell Before The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for people who are opening up to this chapter, i will gladly tell you that i have added an amount of time in the beginning to each chapter, so now you can understand the timeline better.

Three Months, Three Days

 

Tsukishima’s morning wasn’t good so far. He woke up late for one of his numerous computer classes, Yamaguchi already gone for his morning shift at the dinner. The bed felt surprisingly cold without his presence next to Tsukishima. But a quick glance at his digital clock told him that this was not a time to get sentimental over the missing person in his bed. No, it told him he had ten minutes to get dressed and catch his train before his professor would lock him out of the room like he did with every late student. He had to forgo his morning coffee for brushing his teeth, and he is pretty sure his socks are two different colors, but right now he was running to the station to catch his train.  
He managed to slip through the closing doors before the last second, resting his hands on his knees when he finally got a break. He really needed to start up his morning runs again.

It took a few stops before he left the train in the same mad dash as before. He made it to his class just as the professor was approaching the door, and he prayed to whatever gods were supporting him today. He sat in the seat he always, always, sat in, and stretched his arms behind him, ignoring the burning pain in his legs. The class was like any other, boring and filled with stuff he already knew. He hated that he had to actually sit through this rubbish sometimes when his professor had as much knowledge as someone who read a guide to dummies book. He was pretty sure he could teach this class better, but he still had to sit through it for the rest of the semester to get his degree, so he didn't find much worth in actually taking action against it.

Instead of bothering to listen to the babbling man in the front of the class, he turned his attention to his laptop in front of him, messing around with the basic functions before opening up the pictures. He smiled at the first one that popped up, a picture of Yamaguchi hugging Tsukishima’s neck as Tsukishima took a selfie of them. He could remember that day so clearly. One of their first dates, a day where the sun shined so brightly, but Yamaguchi still outshone it. It was perfect in every way possible to Tsukishima, and he never wanted to forget it.

“And just what exactly are you giggling about?” Tsukishima stopped in his memories and looked up to see his professor in front of him, staring down at him angrily.

“Nothing sir.” He slowly closed his laptop and locked his professor in the eye, willing the man to just go away and go back to babbling idiotically. The professor did just that, nodding in his unjustly earned triumph and going back to the front of the class. Tsukishima rolled his eyes, muttering a curse or so under his breath. This morning really didn’t feel like a good morning at all.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The walk to the dinner felt great for his lungs. The sweet ocean air, the relaxing crash of waves on the same, the clouds that covered the sky for miles. These were the exact reasons Tsukishima moved to this city. There was just something so relaxing, something so pleasant about this city that even the normally grumpy Tsukishima could smile during days like this. Maybe it was Yamaguchi. People have been telling him that he’s been smiling a lot more lately. A bit too much if you were to ask Kageyama. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was that Tsukishima actually just felt like everything had fallen exactly where it was supposed to be in his life. It was such a foreign feeling to him, but gosh did it make him feel on top of the world.

He jogged up the steps to the door of the dinner, loving the cool blast of air that hit him as he opened the door. It was a nice relief from the humidity outside. He walked inside, nodding to Suga who stood at the front counter, and walking past Bokuto who was working the bar today. The kitchen was loud as normal, Hinata and Kageyama fighting over how to make pancakes again.

“You’RE SUPPOSED TO WHIP THE EGG WHITES FIRST, DUMBASS.”

“NO, YOU MIX THE DRY INGREDIENTS FIRST THEN YOU MIX IN ALL OF THE WET INGREDENTS.”

Tsukishima ducked into the break room right in time before they started flinging pancake mix at each other. He better not have to spend the night cleaning up the walls for them. He put his bag away, pulling on his apron afterwards. He would be working well into the lunch shift before he had another class to go to, so he steeled himself up for the day ahead of him. He walked past the kitchen, ducking as a glob of pancake batter went over his head, before pushing through the swinging doors to the dining room.

“Ah, Tsukki,” Suga said when he noticed Tsukishima reenter the dining room. “Can you go bus some tables right now? Yamaguchi is on his break.” Tsukishima frowned at the mention of Yamaguchi on his break. He assumed he was going to be able to find Yamaguchi here, be able to talk to him while they worked, but it didn’t seem like this would be the case today. He nodded and got the container for the dishing, ignoring the gnawing feeling deep in his gut.

He moved from table to table, collecting leftover dishes and wiping them down. There were only a few people left, sitting in the red plastic booths, some sitting at the bar stools in front of Bokuto. The morning rush was just about ending, and the lunch rush wasn’t supposed to begin for another two hours, so Tsukishima knew he wouldn’t have to work fast right now. He found his mind wandering back to Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi always waited until after Tsukishima came back from classes before he went on break. Was something wrong today? He shook his head, trying to dispel the idiotic thoughts that seemed to be plaguing his mind. As always, he jumped to the worst possible conclusion. Yamaguchi was probably fine, he probably just went to go get some more art pencils. He was telling Tsukishima about using his all up. Tsukishima went back to focusing on his job, trying to be as happy as he was before.

It was half an hour later that he finally found himself with a break from working. No one was sitting down to eat, and all of the workers were just cleaning up a few spots around the diner. The only probably was that Yamaguchi wasn’t back yet. His breaks were never more than twenty minutes, and it’s been forty minutes since he left. Tsukishima didn’t want to admit it, but he was getting nervous. Sure, Yamaguchi probably knew how to handle himself better than other people. He did spend a good couple of his years living on his own, moving place to place with no home. But Tsukishima needed to see Yamaguchi for himself, just to be sure.

  
“Suga?” He said as he approached Suga at the front desk. “I know I just came in a half hour ago, but can I take my break right now?”

  
Suga looked at him, that knowing, motherly look on his face. Suga always just seemed to know every single worry anyone had. He was a hit with both the customers and the workers, a motherly figure that made the place feel comfier. “You want to go find Yamaguchi I’m guessing?”

  
“He’s been gone for a while, and I’ve been doing his job the whole time. I’m getting tired of it.” He blushed, knowing his was lying straight through his teeth. Suga knew too, because he had that same mile on his face, waving Tsukishima away. Tsukishima nodded, pulling his apron off and handing it to Suga’s outstretched hand. He turned to walk out, but Suga spoke before he opened the door to leave.

  
“Tsukishima, do not forget that sometimes, people just aren’t who you want them to be.” Tsukishima gave him a confused look, but nodded anyways. He wasn’t sure what Suga was trying to tell him, but if it was Suga saying it, it must have some importance.

  
He walked out of the diner, pulling out his cell phone. Tsukishima knew that Yamaguchi never paid attention to the cheap, pay per month flip phone he had, but Tsukishima had to try anyways. He sighed as he didn’t get an answer. He was on the sidewalk right now, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to find Yamaguchi this way. Knowing who Yamaguchi is, he decided the beach across the street would be the best place to go. Nothing made Yamaguchi happier than the beach, going as often as he could. He could still remember that night three days ago that Yamaguchi asked him to go to the beach at two am. He crossed the street, stepping into the soft sand of the beach.

  
Now he could see, Yamaguchi was sitting a little bit away, the only one of the beach on this cloudy day. He was sitting in front of the water, and it looked like the waves were just barely lapping at his feet.

  
“Yamaguchi!” He called out, waving his hand to him. Yamaguchi looked in his direction, and his head lifted in recognition. Tsukishima walked towards him, sinking into soft sand underneath him. He approached Yamaguchi, whose gaze was turned back towards the water. “Tadashi, I was looking for you. Should’ve known you’d be by the water.”

  
“Right, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi said so softly, he had to strain to hear it. He sat down next to Yamaguchi, resting his hand on top of Yamaguchi’s. The other didn’t do anything, instead just sitting there motionless.

 

“Are you feeling okay, Tadashi?”

  
“Maybe. I’d like to believe so.” Tsukishima wasn’t sure how to respond, but he could feel his heart break at Yamaguchi’s answer. Instead of saying anything, he pulled Yamaguchi into a hug, who only remained static in Tsukishima’s hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hellllooooo, back to posting every other day i sorta guess. and i've only got two more chapters to go,oh wow. we're also very close to figuring out the whole story behind the love of the vagabond and the one who decided to love him. im so excited to see the end. i hope you all enjoy, and thanks so much for reading. -morgan


	7. Sweet Sickly Smell Of Love

Two Months, One Week

Tsukishima felt comfortable. He felt happy and comfortable, and his coffee this morning tasted great, and the book in his hands was one of the best he has read in a really long time. It was a great day, perfect for his liking actually, and he didn’t want to move from the finally cleared living room couch. 

“Tsukki, we have to go do a thing.” Yamaguchi popped up from behind the very couch, Tsukishima yelping in surprise and throwing his book across the room. He stared at Yamaguchi, eyes wide in terror as he tried to regain his breath. He really didn’t like to be surprised when he was relaxed. 

“Can we go now?” Yamaguchi asked, totally unfazed by the fact that he scared Tsukishima enough to make him throw his book across the fucking room. Tsukishima took a deep breath, calming his inner sassy, blond asshole rage then turned towards Yamaguchi.

“What thing do we have to do exactly, Yamaguchi? We picked out new sheets for the bed yesterday, since you kept complaining that they were way to stiff.” Yamaguchi had dragged Tsukishima to one of those furniture shops that were way to be big to be legal to find the ‘The most perfectly soft sheets, Tsukki. Your sheets feel like sandpaper.’ They got lost fifteen minutes in their search and if they didn’t call Suga and Daichi to save them, they would’ve been locked in. 

“And that was great Tsukki. I never knew you could find a shanty settlement like that in a furniture store. But today we need to do another thingy.” Yamaguchi climbed over the back of the couch, falling into Tsukishima’s lap with a plop.

“And are you going to tell me what this thingy is?” Tsukishima smirked down as Yamaguchi looked at the ceiling with daze in his eyes. Yamaguchi was just so cute, Tsukishima wasn’t sure how he could contain himself from kissing the boy every single moment of the day.

“Nope.” Yamaguchi said, popping the p. “But if we leave now, the sooner you would see this thingy.” Tsukishima sighed, knowing he had no other choice. Yamaguchi giggled and rolled off of Tsukishima’s lap, falling on the floor. Before Tsukishima could rush to his help, Yamaguchi popped up, hands on his hips in excitement. “Come on, Tsukki. Adventure awaits us.”

“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Tsukishima followed behind the bouncing brunette, grabbing his keys from the front table and slipping on his shoes. Yamaguchi bounded out the door, a skip to his step and he hummed to himself. Wherever they were going, it seemed to make him very happy. Well, if it made Yamaguchi happy, it made Tsukishima happy as well. They walked down the stairs, chatting about any random thing they felt the need to talk about. It was one of the things Tsukishima loved about Yamaguchi, no matter how many times he didn’t want to admit it. Yamaguchi just made him feel important, like what he said meant something to some people. He always felt like people just brushed off his words, thinking he was only just trying to piss people off again. Yamaguchi didn’t think that though. He listened to everything the blond had to say, knowing when Tsukishima was being an ass to be an ass and when he was being serious. 

“When did we get outside?” Tsukishima looked around, confused. He swore that they were at the top of the staircase a second ago. The sun was bright, a sticky warmth covering his skin.

“Silly Tsukki, you were too wrapped up in talking weren’t you? You’re never usually that unobservant.” Yamaguchi laughed, linking his hand with Tsukishima’s. Tsukishima squeezed Yamaguchi’s hand, just a bit, hoping his palms weren’t too sweaty. 

“Shut up Yamaguchi. Where are we going now?” 

“Just follow me, Tsukki. I’ll lead the way.” Yamaguchi walked quickly, excited to reach whatever destination was in his head, Tsukishima keeping up with his longer strides. 

“Doesn’t this feel invigorating?” Yamaguchi asked, throwing his other arm out into the sky. 

“Being dragged to someplace I don’t know?”

“Noooo. Just going places, seeing things. Being able to experience new things.” Tsukishima watched the twinkle in Yamaguchi’s eyes grow as he said those words with so much passion it nearly burned him. 

“Is that why you travel so much?” Yamaguchi actually stopped walking, pausing mid step. He looked as if he was thinking over Tsukishima’s words, tossing them around in his head as he rested his other hand on his chin.

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.” Tsukishima could see it was Yamaguchi who said those words, his lips moving with every syllable. But it didn’t feel like it was Yamaguchi who said it. The tone of the words were off, too sad to be from Yamaguchi. His eyes had that faraway look, one that was saturated in a sad loneliness. “But that doesn’t matter, we’re here now.”

“What?” Tsukishima looked up, surprised at the fairground that popped out of nowhere. “When did we get here? When did this fair get here?”

“Oh Tsukki, there you go not paying attention again.” Yamaguchi said, the lilt back in his voice. “They were advertising for this fair for a week. There is even a sign for it in the diner.” 

“What, really?”

“Yes, Tsukki.” Tsukishima didn’t respond, staring down at the ground. He really has become unobservant lately. But, looking at Yamaguchi and that bright smile that adorned his face, he really didn’t mind.

“So the thingy you needed to do, was go to a fair?” He smirked at Yamaguchi, bopping him lightly on the head. 

“It is a very important thingy, Tsukki. I wanted to go on a date with you, and this fair came into the city, so I thought why not.” Yamaguchi tugged Tsukishima towards the front gate, pulling him into one of the numerous long lines.

“I feel like there’s more to it.”

“Okayyyy, so maybe I’ve always wanted to draw a fair ground.” The brunette said with a smile, pulling a sketch book and his pack of colored pencils out of his bag. He didn’t look ashamed whatsoever, just that sly but adorable look on his face.

“So you’re using me to draw at a fair and not look weird.”

“Just a little bit.” Tsukishima laughed, slinging an arm around Yamaguchi’s shoulders as he babbled about all the things he wanted to draw and how the park was the perfect place and yaddle, yaddle, yaddle.

Looking at the bundle of joy that he could now call his own, Tsukishima didn’t regret a thing. He still was pissed at Kuroo, looking the both of them in the break room until Tsukishima admitted to wanting to go on a date. He retailed by putting syrup inside of every pair of socks that Kuroo owned. It was great to see Kuroo on the floor crying about his socks. It was really great. 

“Tsukki, come on.” Yamaguchi pulled on Tsukishima’s arm, pulling him into the park. The overwhelming sweet, sickly smell of the place hit Tsukishima’ nose all at once, the many different sights filling his gaze.

“We’re going on that ride first, come on.” Yamaguchi pointed to one of those fast, spinning rides. Tsukishima could only follow along as normal, glad to finally be with somebody like Yamaguchi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guyyyyyssss, this story has one more chapter left and guess what. its already finished. i will be posting it in a second, right after i check over it for a bit, so perhaps for the endingggg. on the next post, i will be posting clearly how the chapters should go in order of the story. i got so exited i wrote it all, can you tell i have no social life? anyways, i finally finished school yesterday too and expect more from me. thank you all so much for reading, and prepare for the next chapter. -morgan


	8. People Just Aren't Who You Want Them To Be

When Tsukishima walked out of the dinner, he knew, he knew somewhere deep in his bones, that something wasn’t right. He wasn’t sure what it was, but from the moment he woke up to go to his morning class to his diner shift, something just wasn’t sitting right.

And now he was on the bus, itching to go back to his apartment as fast as he could. His hands twitched as they rested on the pole, his stomach tying itself into knots. He held a hand over his mouth, trying not to get sick as the bus swayed and moved. This really wasn’t good.

“Pardon me.” He said to no one in particular, shoving his way to the door the moment the bus pulled into his stop. Suga had told him to do some deep breathing that morning, he seemed so high strung, but how was he supposed to breathe when he felt like there was a cord wrapped his throat. He made it out of the train station without hyperventilating, but he still had a few more blocks to walk until he would finally make it home. He only wished that he could fly or something, super powers would be great in this type of situation. 

He continued on down the street, trying to ignore the constant slimly feeling in his gut. He could only remember one other time he had felt this way before, that time Akiteru ended up in the hospital after an accident during his volleyball practice. It was all the way back during middle school, but he still could remember how he got sick three times before finding out about his brother. He just really hopes this time won’t be anything worse than that incident. 

He stopped in front of his building, the tower looming overhead. He knew if he walked in, then he would figure out what was going on. His feet felt weighted down with pain, his soul feeling too heavy for his body. He couldn’t understand what was going on, the way his hands were still shaking, and how he couldn’t stop himself from rapidly blinking, as if he was trying to leave the world around him.

He was broken out of his thoughts when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. It was Kuroo. Kuroo should be in the apartment right now. Kuroo knew something Tsukishima didn’t.

“Hello?” He answered the phone as he finally stepped into the building. He ignored the shiver that went down his spine, instead focusing on the elevator. The apartment building had only one elevator, and it took forever to get anywhere in the building, but he didn’t think his legs could carry him up ten flights of stairs today. 

“Tsukishima, do you know where Yamaguchi is?” He felt his heart drop.

 

“What the fuck do you mean?” He pushed himself into the elevator, almost tripping on his feet. The elevator was so hot, burning Tsukishima’s skin, and it was so tight, the walls were closing in around him and he didn’t know what to do. “Just. I’m in the elevator up, I’ll be there in five seconds, okay?” 

He didn’t hear Kuroo’s response, instead running out of the now open elevator. He couldn’t even take a moment to appreciate the cooler air surrounding him now, not while his heart still felt in a vice. The apartment door was open, and Kuroo was looking down the hall at him. 

“What happened, Kuroo?” He pushed past Kuroo into the apartment. The first thing he noticed was that Yamaguchi’s hand bag wasn’t near the front door anymore, but his keys were still on the front table. He wouldn’t have taken his bag and not taken his keys. He wouldn’t have. 

“Yamaguchi’s stuff is gone.” He turned his head to Kenma, who was sitting on the couch. He looked so calm, it didn’t even look as if he had said anything. Then Kenma’s words hit him.

“What are you talking about?” Tsukishima took a shaky step towards Kenma, his hand resting on the back of the couch. “Why are you saying that?”

“Tsukishima.” He turned to look back at Kuroo, ignoring the lack of sketch books that normally littered the corner of the apartment, the lack of pencils scattered all over the living room table. “When we were walking to the apartment, I saw Yamaguchi get onto a bus. I tried to call out to him, but he didn’t respond.”

“When we came back up to the apartment, all his stuff was gone.” Kenma spoke this time, but the words barely reached Tsukishima’s mind. 

“No.” It came out as a whisper as he rushed to his room, expecting to see Yamaguchi there, sleeping in their bundle of sheets. He wasn’t. He wasn’t anywhere in their room. Their room. He wasn’t in their room.

When his senses came back to him, he rushed around the room, trying to find any indication that Yamaguchi was ever there. His clothes were gone from the drawers, his art supplies gone from the floor. The sheets were set on the bed, no longer shaping around the sleep brunette he had left there in the morning. The duffle bag Yamaguchi used for traveling was gone. It was all gone. Yamaguchi was gone.

He sat down at the chair in front of his desk, his body the same weight as lead. He spun in the chair, trying to find some room to breathe, to think again. His eyes pulled around the room, taking in what he could. He could still feel Yamaguchi’s presence, that joy of his still soaked the room. But now it felt like a dagger, a stab to his heart. His eyes lingered on the desk, wishing he could see another sketch book left opened to a drawing of the sky, or a person, or whatever, just something. 

Then his eyes caught something. The trash can he cleaned out this morning. It was overflowing with drawing paper, but now it had only one piece of paper in it. He reached into the can, hand scrunching around the paper. He pulled it out, smoothing it out against the desk.

A train ticket receipt. Yamaguchi was leaving. That thought alone hit him like a bucket of ice. He got up from the desk, running into the living room where Kenma and Kuroo were sitting on the couch, speaking in hushed voices.

“We need to go to the main train station.” They turned to look at him, eyes wide with confusion. He shows them the ticket receipt, legs desperate to run him all the way there if he would have too. “Please, he’s there and he’s leaving. I can’t let him. Please.”

They looked at each other and nodded, getting up quickly. Tsukishima’s mind was blank as they made their way to the small parking garage the building had, running towards the car Kuroo rarely uses but had anyway. 

Tsukishima didn’t say a thing as they drove to the station, trapped in his own, horror filled world. They only spent three months together. Only three. That wasn’t nearly enough. Why was Yamaguchi leaving so early? Tsukishima couldn’t wrap his head around it.

They made it to the station quickly, Tsukishima rushing out of the car before it even fully stopped, ignoring that twitch of pain in his ankle. He ran to the terminal he knew Yamaguchi would be at, the one written on the receipt. His eyes could barely focus, but he saw the bus still there, he saw a line of people waiting to board. 

“Yamaguchi!” He called out as soon as he could see the brunette. Yamaguchi looked his way, eyes wide as he recognized Tsukishima. He lifted his duffle bag, as if he was trying to hide behind it as Tsukishima stopped in front of him. “Yamaguchi, where are you going?” 

“I. I, um, got this job up north actually. A studio job at a big art museum.” Yamaguchi scratched the back of his head, and it was obvious he knew how much bullshit was falling out of his mouth.

“But you have a job here, at the diner. And there are art museums here, you can try to find a job at one of them.” Yamaguchi stared at Tsukishima, eyes breaking as Tsukishima spoke. 

“Well, I mean. This is a once in a lifetime job, Tsukishima.” Tsukishima. Yamaguchi hasn’t called him that since they met. That word alone broke his heart. 

“Then what about us, Tadashi?” Tsukishima was desperate as he grabbed Yamaguchi’s shoulders, trying with all he could to keep him there, keep him in his eyesight.

“Uh, Tsuk-.” 

“What about the diner, and the fair, and all the cool places you bring me? What about Suga and Daichi? They love you as much as they love everyone at the diner. What about Kuroo and Kenma? You’re the only one who can match up to Kenma during a video game tournament, you’re the only one who laughs at Kuroo’s stupid puns. What about Hinata and Kageyama? They’re your friends, we’re all your friends Tadashi. You have people who care about you here. You have a life here. You have a job, and friends, and places to go, and people to see, and things to do, and you have us. You have me, Tadashi. You have me, and I love you.”

“Tsukki.” Yamaguchi said softly. His head rested against Tsukishima’s shoulder, breathing lightly in the blonde’s hug. Tsukishima didn’t stop the tears that were falling, nor did he stop the sobbing. Yamaguchi couldn’t leave him, he loved him. He loved Yamaguchi so much, he didn’t know if he could love anyone else like this. 

“Tadashi.” He said, moving Yamaguchi so he could stare into his eyes, trying to relay the seriousness in his voice. “You have us here. You have a home.” 

Yamaguchi was about to speak when a train worker looked through the door, the line to get on the bus gone. “Kid, are you coming on or what? We leave in two minutes.” 

Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima one last look, taking in the desperateness in Tsukishima’s eyes before shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Tsukishima. I just don’t have a home.”

He pulled out of Tsukishima’s grasp, boarding the train instead of staying with Tsukishima. He watched the train doors close, then take off. He stood there, not believing what had just happened. He closed his eyes, hoping the train would be back when he opened them, hoping Yamaguchi would be back when he opened them. Neither were. 

He felt arms around him, and he looked to see Kuroo hugging him, Kenma standing close. He brought a hand to his eye, feeling the tears run down his face. Yamaguchi really just left. Yamaguchi said he didn’t have a home. Yamaguchi didn’t have a home with Tsukishima. 

Kuroo pulled him tighter as Tsukishima’s sobs got louder. Even Kenma hugged Tsukishima, and he didn’t like touching people. Kuroo whispered one word to Tsukishima.

“Sorry.”  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
0 Months, 5 AM

Tsukishima breathed lightly, passing by the diner. It was a foggy morning, he could barely see half a mile in front of him. His morning jogs always invigorated him, they made him ready for the shitty day he knew he would have to deal with. 

As he jogged in time with the music playing in his headphones, he couldn’t help but feel as if today would be different. He could feel it, feel something new and exciting in his gut. It was a stirring feeling actually, one where he couldn’t wait to see how his day would play out. 

He reminded himself not to get his hope up, that most stuff normally fell the more he hoped for it. It was just what happened to Tsukishima, so he never felt the need to wish upon a shooting star for things he knew wouldn’t happen. 

He paused at a bench, using it to stretch out his legs and take a drink of water. Looking towards the beach, he saw a figure stand in front of the water, the fog surrounding them, swallowing them alive. 

Strange, since no one would go to the beach so early in the morning, but it wasn’t any of his business. He shrugged, then continued his jog, uncaring of what life could bring to him next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> annnnnnddddd, it's done. i really hope you guys liked this story, though i'm not to sure if everything is in character or not, but i tried. if you liked this story you should totalllyyy check out my other stories if you like to laugh, cry, and groan at people's stupidity.  
> also, if you would like to talk, or if you have a writing request for me, just [wooohhh](http://not-deadish.tumblr.com/) /  
> and just a quick not on order it would go  
> chapters  
> 2,4,5,7,1,6,8,3 (plus the little end of 8 first)  
> thank you all so much for reading this mess of a story, i love everyone who reads this so much. -morgan 
> 
> ps sorta looking for a beta reader, so yeah if you wanna, just contact me


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